We promise never to use the word “learnings.”

Also synergy, although, at least that one’s a real word.

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It’s been a full month since the website went live, and we’ve learned a few things. We call them “lessons,” aka the perfectly good, pre-existing word to describe things one has learned, and our monthiversary seems like the apt time to talk about them.

  • Michelle very much wanted a magazine with a global scope, with contributors from all over the world melding seamlessly in one beautiful publication. Michelle did not think about the fact that the banking industry does not count “seamless global melding” among its features, which is why she spent the morning sitting in her living room in Rome learning how to wire money from an account in Austin to a physical bank in Abuja so that a Nigerian contributor can go retrieve physical currency. Tomorrow she might learn how to darn a sock.
  • She also learned that despite having been on Twitter since June of 2008, she… doesn’t really know how to use it? I mean, she knows how to tweet, as she’s done it many thousands of times. But what’s the point? What does it all mean? Is there a strategy? Can she borrow yours? Please email us with your preferred loan terms.
  • And! It turns out Michelle is a Needy Creative, and not the cool, collected Editor in Chief of her mind’s eye. (Note: she recently bought her first pair of black trousers, so that could change imminently.) She depends on Catherine for regular reassurance that she is doing a good job building the magazine that WAS HER IDEA. However, she also suspects that Catherine seeks regular reassurance from elsewhere, and is forced to conclude that the world is balanced on a near-infinite stack of needy creatives, and at the very bottom is the universe’s most even-keeled best friend/partner/sibling, who just repeats “It’s going to be fine, you’re doing a great job” on a loop.*

We also learned that A-ha’s social media coordinator is falling down on the job a little, because there’s no reasonable explanation for why they haven’t yet been in touch with us.

*Editor’s note: Catherine — who is here for Michelle, and for you — confirms that there is no bottom. Creativity cannot be near-infinite, only infinite, and so it is with needs. In our youth we court ambition and denial; as we age, denial matures. Now Catherine retains a crack team of professionals who are legally obligated to listen to her suffer on rotation in exchange for money or marriage. It’s polite to barter! Everything’s going to be fine. You’re doing a great job.

The week in Pipe Wrench

  • Is our first feature story nearing completion, and is the rest of issue one fleshed out? Why yes, yes it is.
  • Michelle cried three separate times this week when people reacted to rejection with kindness and appreciation.

And now, dogs.

Well, a dog:

His name is Budino P. Fonzarelli. He may be a mix of wired-haired dachshund and Lagotto Romagnolo or he may be the living incarnation of Sprocket, the dog from Fraggle Rock, although it should be noted that Sprocket is described as “performing household labor, including repairs on the water pipes,” and that is not one of Budino’s talents. He weighs 35 pounds and his legs are three inches long on a good day.

If Budino were to see you in person he would most likely be too nervous to approach you, but from the safety of the internet he says hello and wants you to know that you’re a good person.