Shadow Work Prompts

I wrote a strange note down during a Zoom meeting the other day: “Be the therapist, not the patient.” This was right before I went into a trance doing SEM keyword research, which led me to the chance discovery that shadow work prompts are in high demand these days.

Why was I denying my inner patient? What’s shadow work? I don’t know much of anything about Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung other than that Michael Fassbender played him in David Cronenberg’s A Dangerous Method (well hello, sir), but I suspect I’m supposed to call his chief contribution to psychoanalysis The Shadow™ and credit his estate.

The gist of Shadow Work™ is that each of us has a dark side, a disowned self we’re unconsciously trying not to be. The more I can accept and work with my dark side, the easier it is to feel whole. Whenever I don’t have a good grip on my dark side, it turns me into an oversensitive sitting duck; anyone can come along at any hour of the day, unwittingly do something that rattles my emotions, and I’m stuck riding them out until they inevitably subside.

When I wrote “Be the therapist, not the patient” in my notebook, I sensed negative emotions coming up for the colleague I was talking to — frustration, disappointment — and could feel myself starting to mirror them. In the moment, I wanted to contain those emotions. Leadership is just deft self-management, I tell myself. Maybe I can notice us out of friction. Maybe I can just listen.

It makes sense that folks are on the lookout for shadow work prompts, though. Dark sides are tricky. You can only see them when the light hits just right. Plenty of negative traits I observe in others don’t bother me at all. Insecurities that might push another person’s buttons don’t necessarily push mine. I’m only triggered by behavior I consider unacceptable.

It makes sense that folks are on the lookout for shadow work prompts, though. Dark sides are tricky. You can only see them when the light hits just right. Plenty of negative traits I observe in others don’t bother me at all. Insecurities that might push another person’s buttons don’t necessarily push mine. I’m only triggered by behavior I consider unacceptable.

The Shadow Work Scene in Mary Martin’s Peter Pan (1960)

(Wendy gets it.)

What does any of this have to do with Pipe WrenchPipe Wrench operates from a set of guiding principles. We have goals, and partners, and ambitions. Michelle and I want this to be a sustainable company. But far too often, working in media is the dark side. The industry can be unsustainable, unrelenting, and inhumane — a breeding ground for burnout. If you work with a very small team, imposter syndrome can balloon into organizational self-sabotage. Capitalism is evil. Media companies fold. How can I lead if I’m the patient? How can I project confidence while admitting insecurity? If we look out at the world and observe selfish immoral people hoarding wealth, and judge business and commerce as embodiments of those negative histories and emotions, what are Michelle and I doing building a business of our own?

I love acknowledging damaging, unanswerable questions and then promising everyone that everything’s fine! Dark sides are human. I care deeply about imaginative work that makes me feel something. I think the people making that work deserve competitive pay. Michelle trusts me to push all sorts of red buttons. Someone has to set up the ACH transfers. 

I may have been able to play the role of therapist successfully in that one meeting, but I co-founded an LLC on purpose and I am most definitely a patient. You can trust that I’ll be working with my selfishness, my hoarding, and my immorality, all while encouraging various strangers to throw more coins in the fountain because even the banks can’t stop us from wiring euros to Irish fabulists.

If you didn’t know what shadow work prompts were before and now you’re out walking your lovable galoot puppy wondering about which behaviors you unconsciously disown, I’m so sorry. I can’t stop thinking about them, either.

Follow Pipe Wrench on Twitter @pipewrenchmag and me @CusickCatherine.

How To Cope With Shortages

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the one from Tuesday, May 4, 2021. If you’d like the email version, sign up here!

Last week, Catherine and I had a multi-hour, intense Pipe Wrench Zoom call that clarified things that had been unclear, put some longer-range ideas on the back burner, and made concrete things that had been inchoate. We’d both been carrying around more stress than we’d wanted; now we’re not. It was productive and exciting and useful, and we were both so physically wiped and addled the next day that Catherine thought she had a hangover and I wondered if I’d had a stroke.

That said, here’s a story about a dog.

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Hey, Stranger

(PS: We Love You)

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the one from Tuesday, April 27, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

My laptop makes a little knock-knock sound every time someone new subscribes to Pipe Wrench. “Who’s there?” I ask the coupla knockers. Sometimes it’s an old friend, sometimes it’s a new friend. More and more often, it’s a total stranger. Friends-to-be, you should know that whenever we happen to see a name we don’t recognize in one of our tech queues, our hearts flutter in unison. Pipe Wrench has several mottos, but one of the big ones is “We love strangers.”

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You Can’t Control Feelings: A Bulleted List

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the one from Tuesday, April 20, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

Oh, did we tell you? We published a magazine last week.

If you’ve also been thinking about publishing a magazine, I can tell you that it involves a lot of email, a lot of clicking “preview” and then panicking that you published to the actual internet instead of just previewing, a lot of coffee, a lot of take-out, a lot of help, and a lot of feelings. So that you might be prepared for what you’ll have to deal with, I offer you this comprehensive list of all the feelings I had in the 24 hours leading up to publication.

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We’re Heading to Venus (Venus)

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the one from Tuesday, April 6, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

Niew niew niew niewwwww.
Niew niew NIEW NIEW NIEW.

Because we publish issue one next week so it’s the final countdown, do you get it, PLEASE LAUGH AT OUR JOKES, WE ARE OVERTIRED AND MISS YOUR VERY SPECIFIC LAUGH.

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The Rhinestone-Encrusted Badminton Racket of Disruption

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the one from Tuesday, March 30, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

Media companies that are actually tech companies are playing their weird competitive badminton again.

I don’t have to link to which ones! Share this whenever you want: a tech company, while wearing its handy-dandy media disguise, recently announced some kind of labor shakeup because growthiterationchangeordie. A ruling minority is batting one or two marginally differentiated ideas back and forth, taking less-than-athletic swipes at the same multimillion-dollar shuttlecock.

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How to Reach X,XXX,XXX Goals by XXXX

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the newsletter from Tuesday, March 23, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

Knowing what counts, without the quota

Last week, the Medialyte newsletter ran an interview with Pipe Wrench’s favorite Catherine that included this question and answer:

Is it the hope that Pipe Wrench will become a full-time job for its members? What kind of financial and audience goals have you set internally?

We expect the business to sustain itself. Michelle and I both work second jobs that we intend to bequeath to successors when the time comes. There are break-even numbers.

But to quote Margarita Noriega, “Metrics are not goals. And goals are not values.”

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That Friend of Yours, You Know the One

If you already know how a conversation ends, you’re giving a lecture or watching a rerun.

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the newsletter from Tuesday, March 16, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

When we say that reading an issue of Pipe Wrench should be like being at a great dinner party, that’s a deliberate description, not a glib tagline. Conversation isn’t planned, or linear. We carry our own experiences and sets of knowledge and opinions and moods into every conversation, and all of that influences what we respond to and how. Although every issue of Pipe Wrench centers on one core story, we’re not a thematic magazine.

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What if we were just super honest?

Is it a newsletter or isn’t it? WHO CAN SAY.

Don’t get the newsletter via email? Here’s the newsletter from Tuesday, March 9, 2021. If you’d like the email, sign up here!

Catherine and I chatted last Thursday about this week’s newsletter and what we wanted to talk to y’all about; we ended up deciding to tell you more about Pipe Wrench’s approach to conversation pieces (spoilers: not just writing!) and asking you to introduce us to your most interesting friend.

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